Yall the next few days are going to be a blur with flu clinic, work, bridal showers, vacation coming up 🥴 pulled out my old daily to get me thru it. I dont need a daily everyday but can sure use the brain dump every now and then!
Healing is not something do, it’s a journey you go on. Our greatest barrier is often our ego. It often helps us manage the anxiety we are in denial about however it deepens our beliefs about how we can’t rely on anyone or don’t need others. As much as you want love and connection, our nervous systems are wired to pull away, and our minds run a story to maintain our identity, we need to do it all on our own.
But humans are not made this way, we are not designed to do it alone, our primal needs are true connection, belonging, attachment and interdependence. It’s healthy to depend on others but not for our happiness, but for balance.
When you get past the ego mind and the stories it tells, you’ll start to see glimmers of your healing. You start to think differently, you notice those stories come up and you don’t become engulfed in them. Healing is scary, because it means that if you mess up, it’s all on you. At the same time, realizing it is the only way to be truly free. The risk is worth the reward on this one, always.
Can you relate to this?
Are you healing after trying to love an addict?
Can you recognize what you chose? Can you take responsibility for continuing to go back to him?
It is a TRAUMA BOND.
Think of it this way: You learned so much from the experience.
You are learning not to judge and to thank him for the lesson. Released with love. 🙏🏻
You are learning what you actually do need in a relationship and will never settle for less. ❤️
What we commonly refer to as codependency, is actual trauma from the betrayal suffered when you are involved with an addict. The constant lies, being treated with ambiguity and indifference instead of love and respect, knowing you are not a priority in the addict’s life because their priority is their substance of choice and the lifestyle it takes to maintain addiction. This erodes self worth. It creates anxiety, stress, and frustration. The dynamic in the relationship is unsustainable. This is why many relationships still fail even after the addict gets sober. Unless they can feel empathy, remorse, and compassion for the partner that was traumatized, the relationship will suffer and ultimately end.