Hashtag: healing

We aren't born being able to name, understand, regulate, and act healthily on our emotions. Like we physically grow with time - we have to grow emotionally, too. The difference between physical and emotional growth is intention. Without even trying we may grow in height - but without intentionality (+ tolerating a lot of discomfort) emotional growth doesn't happen. Emotional growth comes with forming a healthy relationship with emotions (the pleasant and unpleasant ones) and being able to hold responsibility for what is in your control (vs. what is not). It's a skill of understanding, managing, and incorporating emotional feedback into your daily life to ensure you are living aligned with your goals and values. Now, remember to be gentle with yourself and know that no one gets it 100% right. You are human and just like anyone else ... will mess up, and that is okay. The emotional growth isn't actually determined by if you are 'messing up or not' but more by how you respond to 'messing up'. If you found this post helpful, follow @mindmatterswithdiv for more daily mental health tips on emotions, relationships, and life transitions (looots of life transition content coming up in the following weeks with graduations, moves, and many weddings coming up!)

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A lack of communication skills remains the largest culprit of conflict in relationships. I want to encourage you this morning to pay attention to the way that you communicate with your loved one. Do you turn towards them or push them away? Are you approaching each other with curiosity or concern? Is there care or consideration towards each other when one of you doesn't seem to be okay? Are we approaching each other with what's wrong with you instead of what happened to you? It's these small nuances in communication that make a huge impact on connection and intimacy in your relationship. When we are not presently engaging with our partners we are mindlessly engaging with the representation of them that we have created in our minds based and our (often negative) judgments, perceptions, and projections. Come to the present moment, turn towards your partner intentionally, and if you read this far comment, I'm learning to turn towards you and not push you away. 🥺❤ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Announcements: Relationship Diagnostic assessment: If you'd like to know if couple's counseling will help your relationship, contact us today & ask for a Gottman Relationship Tune-up and Assessment! We offer an honest, direct no-nonsense approach to determine if couple's counseling makes sense for your relationship. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you for your continued support & generosity 🙏❤ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Use the "direct" link in my bio for all inquiries. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Photo creds: @_robertschultz

This tickled me 👏😂 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #therapist #anxiety #humor #selfcare #depression #mentalhealthmatters #youarenotalone #mentalhealthsupport #youmatter #funnymemes #sorrynotsorry #selflove #mentalillness #healing #mindset #therapy #recovery #suicideprevention #selfworth #trauma #suicideawareness

It doesn’t get better, it gets worse. > Posted @withregram • @kill_the_clown_narc_free . . . #healing #peace #narcissist #narcissism #liar #manipulate #covert #covertnarcissist #vulnerable #traumabond #ptsd #cheater #toxicrelationship #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #trauma #gaslighting #redflags #betrayal #narcawareness #lies #evil #truth #supply #malignant #therapy #deception #psychopath #psychologicalabuse

I love this quote by @alyssamariewellness ⁠— please go follow her for more! After we set a boundary and sense others’ frustration, disappointment, or sadness, the temptation can be strong to rush in and “fix” their emotions. A few situations I’d like to highlight. Let’s imagine that you set a boundary with someone⁠—like a partner or close friend⁠—and after, you sense their sadness and their fear (“Do they still love me?”) You are under no obligation to rush in and manage their emotions. Also, if you have the bandwidth to provide some reassurance and that feels important or loving for you to do so, you can. Let’s imagine that you set a boundary with a family member and after, you sense their sadness and anger. They complain loudly and use subtle hints of guilt in an attempt to get you to redact your boundary. You are under no obligation to rush in and manage their emotions. You can leave the room, gently end the phone call, or agree to talk when tempers have cooled. Reassurance or comfort ⁠— when freely given, from a place of genuine care ⁠— can be a loving thing to do *if* it doesn’t cause us undue pain or self-sacrifice. But first and foremost, our obligation is to ourselves ⁠— to set boundaries that protect our wellbeing. One of the *hardest* things about getting better at setting boundaries is learning how to sit with the discomfort of OTHERS’ discomfort in the aftermath. I like to call this skill “guilt resiliency,” and my workshop Braver Boundaries: Building Courage and Resiliency addresses this topic in depth (link in bio!) AND ⁠— join me TOMORROW at my flagship boundary workshop, Empowered Boundaries for the Recovering People-Pleaser, to learn the art of boundary-setting from start to finish. Tickets (and recording!) at the link in my bio! #alyssamariewellness #assertiveness #assertivenesstraining #confidence #confidencecoaching #conifdencetraining #personalgrowth #healing #wellness #codependency #reassurance #attachmentstyle #partnership #couplescounseling #boundaries