Divya Robin

@mindmatterswithdiv

nyc/nj therapist & mental health educator helping you improve your emotional awareness & thrive in relationships 🫶🏾 work w/ me + free resources
Posts
913
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233k
Following
590
Hi! 👋🏾 I'm Divya. I'm a NYC licensed psychotherapist and wellness educator. I'm also obsessed with dogs, iced lattes, Taylor Swift, and having deep conversations. I started this page almost four years ago (whoa) to talk about the stuff people don't talk about enough. I would think "Is something wrong with me?" about soo many things. Because as a society we didn't talk enough about the hard stuff - friendship break up, loneliness, life transitions, dysfunctional family dynamics, anxiety, and intimate relationships. I wanted to essentially create a space on the internet that I wish I had. A page that I could have gone to and been like "whoa, I'm not alone in this". That I'm not alone when: I navigate setting family boundaries. I have doubts in my relationship (when it's too "boring") I feel lonely during moments I "should" feel happy. Have anxiety that feels so intense no one can understand. I have thoughts of not being enough in relationships. People-please and sacrifice my needs. Look, none of these things are "abnormal" but they're also not things we HAVE to live with. We can create different realities and endings. All we need are to the point and REAL tools and prompts to help. I love that wellness and mental health has been a hot topic on the internet for the past few years, but also hate how much misinformation it's caused. So here, I talk about real, practical, no BS ways to create the change in your relationships and confidence in your emotional intelligence. If you're a busy adult who's wondered what more you can do to make changes, join this little corner of IG and let's dive into it together. ♥️ If you've been a part of this community, ILY & let me know in the comments what you love seeing. And if you're a new follower - pop in and say hi!
1,069 24
2 months ago
Slide 3 is an insight that changes the way people feel emotions in their relationships! It's normal (and healthy) to feel anger toward a partner, friend, relative, etc. And no, it's not a "bad" thing!! Anger cues you that something is wrong, you've been mistreated, misunderstood, or emotionally triggered. Head to my stories for some of my practical tips for what I do when I'm feeling angry. What's your relationship with anger been like? I would love to hear in the comments and have a discussion. 🫶🏾
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19 hours ago
Ask questions that deepen connection, show a desire to understand, and create future understanding (you may approach conflict differently based on answers you get). Save & share this for another time ♥️
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1 day ago
We've all felt disconnected, but we don't have to STAY disconnected! I've been talking about this a lot with clients recently, and it's important to normalize it. While we want to normalize the experience, I don't want to normalize that lack of connection is healthy for human wellness. What else would you add? Save this post as a reminder. 🫶🏾 oh and head to my stories where I'm going to share another tip of what I've seen helps with disconnection. Think of it as a bonus! Happy Monday!
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2 days ago
Get your observing glasses on 🧐 because most people get this very wrong when it comes to anxiety. Fixating, questioning, trying to reason, and get answers to your anxiety/roots of anxiety will only fuel the fire. The more you identify as someone with anxiety [who can't change] the further you get from knowing you can make some powerful changes. Observing the sensations of anxiety and resisting fixating on the sensation (e.g. "it has to mean something" or "why am I feeling ___" or asking other people for reassurance) puts you in the drivers seat. Anxiety is a normal human reaction - but when the intensity or frequency of it impacts how you function and relate in the world ... it may be a sign you need to shift your reactions to the anxiety. Observe observe observe!!! Comment 🫢 if you struggle with anxiety and needed to see this! (don't forget to save this post as a reminder!!)
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6 days ago
You can be kind, understanding, and compassionate without being a doormat. I used to struggle with stating my needs, saying my piece, and boundaries because I didn't want it to take away from who I am. I knew myself as an understanding, empathetic person. Someone who was committed to showing up for other people and supporting my loved ones. But be mindful of when these traits & characteristics are serving you negatively. I can be all those qualities AND state my feelings, needs, and boundaries. In fact, it was a way to let people see me on a more intimate level. And with that, leads to deeper relationships. But it comes with first challenging the many ideas you have about what it means for you to be kind, nice, understanding, empathetic, etc. Thank you @mindfulmft for this quote ❤️ Who has struggled with this!?
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7 days ago
Willingness shows you all you need to know. 🫶🏾 What is willingness? It's being open and accepting yourself, circumstances, and what's around you. What willingness is NOT - accepting abuse, tolerating consistent toxic behaviors/patterns, or allowing others to treat you poorly. Drop a 💙 below if you needed to see this!
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8 days ago
When you have a limited view of growth, you don't acknowledge the multitude of areas where you've been making strides. Growth is multifaceted. You can grow an ample ways in your personal life, your relationships in your career, and even internally (in ways people can't see). You HAVE grown. You just have to allow yourself to see the areas that you have. 🫶🏾 And a gentle reminder ... your growth doesn't have to be validated by others, it starts with being validated by you. What else would you add to this list as growth?! What are things you wish were more acknowledged as growth?! Drop it in the comments below, I would love to hear and have a conversation about it! 🩵
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9 days ago
As a therapist I see a lot of talk on social media about connecting with others but not enough about connecting with OURSELVES. The truth is you can’t fully connect with other people (and their emotions) without connecting with yours, first. Making a daily practice to connect with yourself is a way to understand your emotions and use your insights in a productive way. If you notice that you are feeling irritable, you may practice more self-care. If you notice that you are feeling inspired, you may take on that project you’ve been avoiding. The tuning in is a useful tool to help you thrive in many areas - at work, in your relationships, personally, and all. But how to get started with this? For me, these daily practices + therapy gave me a safe space to tune into my emotions (and have my therapist help me regulate if I was struggling!) Because of this, I’m partnering with @thrizer.app to help people access out-of-network therapy. If you want to connect with yourself in a therapeutic relationship, Thrizer comes in to help you see specialty providers at a lower cost. Thrizer has recently launched a Superbill Upload service that allows you to effectively use your out-of-network benefits to save on therapy! If you’re struggling to find a therapist, use Thrizer to expand your search. A little-known fact is insurance reimburse up to 80% of your out-of-network therapy cost, bringing your out-of-pocket to as little as $30 a session! CRAZY, right!? Thrizer can help you verify your out-of-network benefits and reduced out-of-pocket cost upfront before your first session. From there, Thrizer handles all the insurance hassles for you! All you have to do is request a superbill from your therapist and upload it onto Thrizer. They will manage the claim end-to-end with insurance, and you’ll receive reimbursements directly to your bank account in a few weeks. Check them out at the link in my bio. Save this post as a guide & use it as often as you can. ❤️
1,694 6
11 days ago
When the offices are cozy, there’s a billing team that handles insurance, and therapists who aren’t blank slates & work with you toward real change >> And, we’re holistic in care, meaning we have more than therapists to support your healing, too! You can work with a mind-body practitioner in one of these cozy offices to work on issues with physical health such as sleep, nervous system regulation, movement, and breathwork 🩵 Schedule a free consultation at the link in bio
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12 days ago
If you're holding on tight to how you think things "should" be, chances are you're not allowing room for your relationship to expand. I know it can be hard to hear, but I say this because when we recognize some of these truths - we can form an understanding of what each person needs in their relationship. I always heard the phrase "don't go to bed mad". And look..I really tried to follow that but the reality for me is that if I force a conversation to happen just to make it happen before bed I actually end up feeling more disconnected from my husband. I'm someone who needs the night to sleep on it to have a productive conversation and he's someone who needs a break. So morning discussions work better for us. Before you find yourself subscribing to rules - first ask yourself what works for YOU. Rules aren't really rules if they aren't supportive for you. Allow your needs to set the guide on the norms of your relationships. What are "rules" that just don't work for you?! LMK in the comments 🫶🏾
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14 days ago
I'll start off by saying this. We ALL crave validation to some point. It feels good to be praised! But the other reality is that we can lose that praise as fast as we get it. Because when we are validated by other people ... it's 1) not on your timeline 2) not guaranteed 3) won't actually scratch that "itch" of feeling enough. In the moments that I would seek external validation - my nervous system would be dysregulated. I wasn't focused on how I was feeling; I was beyond disconnected. All I cared about was getting other people's approval - being validated. It created a cycle of anxiety because the approval was out of my control and because, well, there are times when people won't approve of me. It's also dysregulating because the closer you try to get to other's constant approval, the farther you get from yourself. If you have found yourself in this cycle, you're not in it alone! Pause and swipe through these - and repeat it to yourself. ❤️ Save them so they're always there for you! If you want to better understand the approval seeking cycle and gain practical tips on how to move away from approval seeking then head to the link in my bio! My "Breaking Free From Approval Seeking Masterclass" was created to help you ... 1) Understand what the approval-seeking cycle is + how it is formed 2) Recognize the origin of your approval seeking 3) Get modern examples of approval seeking (from relationships, to the workplace, to "are you sure syndrome") 4) Be empowered with practical tools + tips to break the cycle The Masterclass is discounted for a limited time! I want to make sure as many can get access to it (you get access immediately) because this is something that I know many people struggle with. Head to the link in my bio and DM me if you have any questions!
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15 days ago