Brianna Wiest

@briannawiest

Author of 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, The Mountain Is You and more. Partner @thoughtcatalog . You can find my books below.
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863k
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Every piece of you that hurts is a part of you that wants to be loved but does not know how to ask for it, or how to receive it, or how to allow it to seep into the openings where the losses and the lessons left caverns the size of your hope, your wide-eye awe, your child self, your true self; and in their place left hardness, and avoidance, and cynicism, and fear. When we don’t know how to say that there’s a part of us that wants to be seen, we often find an unconscious way to require that it is noticed. But if we began to recognize the most unseemly parts of ourselves not as the pieces that need to be amended or corrected or rejected — rather, the ones that most need to be nurtured and nourished and loved — we would transform. It would all transform. Every piece of you that hurts is a part of you that is asking you to pay attention to it. By bearing witness, by being present, by spending time. We think that loving something means to be unconditionally permissive when it is often in fact just the willingness to pay attention to the pieces that nobody else notices. To give the light of our awareness in the most tiny, ordinary ways. Everything heals and grows when it is loved well because everything reveals its true and whole nature to us when we care enough about it to see the perfection within it. Things tend to meet us at the level of our expectation of them. When we decide to look at the ugliest parts of ourselves as the ones most deserving of love, they become the avenues to the deepest and fullest experience of being loved. We come to find that the purpose was never to reach a completed state and then allow the floodgates to open; rather, to open the floodgates and let them fill us up from the inside out. To show us that cheap love walks beside us at our easiest, but deep love finds us at our lowest, and brings us back out into the light.
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8 months ago
When we find it too difficult to arrive fully into the present moment, it is almost always because the quiet is telling us something we are not yet ready to hear. The longer we avoid looking honestly at ourselves, the louder our inner worlds will become. When we find the courage to look long enough into the eyes of our demons, they dissolve into crying children just asking us to set them free. We don’t need a lot to be happy, but we do need things that are real. We do need things that grip our hearts and enliven us and make us feel like we are here for a reason, here to experience something that could only be touched by a human body, understood by a human mind, loved by a human heart. When we deny ourselves the authentic experience of being alive, we reach for more when what we really want is not to stretch wider, but to go deeper. You don’t have to run forever. The answers you’re looking for have probably been with you all along. The journey has not been about finding that truth, but strengthening your inner resolve to choose what you have always known is right, even if the world would not understand, even if you might disappoint some people, even if it might scare you or challenge you or make you feel vulnerable in a way you never have before. I hope you will discover that making it is not always about where you end up, but how you take each step. When you change your relationship with today, you change your relationship with tomorrow. These words are from my book of daily meditations, The Pivot Year, which will be out next spring. You can pre-order your copy through the link in my bio. I’m sending you all love, and I hope you have a great day.
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1 year ago
You are not waiting on another person, or for the right timing, or for everything to magically fall into place. You are waiting until you feel ready to live within the questions, to not need every answer, and to know that this life does not come to us to be fully understood, but fully experienced — in every direction we can possibly reach. If you are feeling like you need some advice, encouragement or guidance tonight, leave your questions in the comments and I will do my best to answer as many as I can. 🤍
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10 months ago
I hope you stop talking yourself out of the person you actually want to be. I hope you will realize how often things meet you at your expectation of them. How presence is everything, but you also have a choice in what moment you meet. How the way you set your gaze is often how you find the view. That you can decide, in any second of that infinite now, to look for the silver linings, the glimmers, the doorways that are cracked open, inviting you to see the possibility, the potential, the goodness. Most of all, I hope you will understand that you become the person you condition yourself to be. You are a work of your own making, a nurturing that does not only happen by chance, but also, by choice. I hope you will start to see how all those tiny revolutions add up to something greater than their parts. I hope you will begin to realize the power you’ve always had deep inside. I hope you will come to discover that the life you’ve always wanted has always just been waiting for you to start walking toward it, one step at a time. I hope you learn how to bring yourself home.
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7 days ago
Maybe right now, you’re alone because whatever you need to learn about yourself can only be learned in solitude. Maybe right now, the pieces of yourself you’re finding are fusing a truer self into form, a kind of self that will become a more clear and recognizable match for the places and people and opportunities that are meant to come your way. Maybe right now, you don’t feel good enough because you’re going to bring someone to the places where you feel the most unworthy and let them love you there. Maybe right now, it’s quiet because you’re learning to hear the sound of your own voice. Maybe right now, you feel stuck because you have tried to force stillness when what you really need is to keep going. Maybe right now, you feel lost because you’re getting a chance to choose something greater than what you once assumed the best could be.  Maybe right now, you’re learning to see yourself with kinder eyes. To give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Maybe right now, you’re realizing the value in recognizing how far you’ve come, and allowing that to fuel you forward. Maybe right now, you’re giving yourself more credit. Maybe you’re giving yourself a second chance. Maybe you’re learning how to be with yourself in the quiet hours, the times when you’d rather fill the void with another person’s company. Maybe you’re learning how to enjoy your own presence. Maybe life is trying to show you how taking care of the person you are informs the one you will become. Maybe things are happening just as they need to, even if you don’t understand their sequence, or order, or reason. Maybe all you’re meant to do is take it one day, or even hour at a time. To greet the moment and ask what you should do with it, even if what you should do is sometimes the bare minimum, and sometimes the revolutionary. Maybe this is the time when you make space for all of those pieces of you to come together, to settle in and find their way home. Maybe in the midst of the uncertainty, this is life’s way of making sure you make peace with yourself.
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14 days ago
I hope you will take nothing for granted — no lesson, no person, no place. I hope you will see that everything was a teacher, even the most unlikely of experiences was in some way there to guide to your path. I hope you will have faith in the fact that everything that’s meant for you will find you, remain with you, or return to you, it is only a matter of when. I hope you will realize that when you ask for a bigger experience, you’ll first be handed the lessons that will grow you into the type of person who would have that life you want. I hope you’ll begin to see the purpose in what’s seemed meaningless, I hope you’ll never lose faith that your happy ending is still there, still waiting. I hope you allow your life to be more than you ever thought it could be. I hope you press back on the limiting thoughts that have made you cling so tightly to the worlds you’ve already outgrown. I hope you will listen to the little calling in your heart that knows what’s really true, even if your mind doesn’t yet understand how it might be possible. I hope you will consider that maybe there’s more available to you than you even know to ask for. I hope you will let yourself be expanded, to see that there are others just like you taking big leaps in the directions you always hoped to go, but have just been waiting on the courage. I hope you will remember that is no desire that can be within us without an equal amount of potential to make it reality. I hope you will let yourself dream. I hope you will let yourself consider more than you assumed you’d be able to have, not always in scale, but in depth and beauty and truth. I hope you will know that no experience will be wasted. I hope you know it will all eventually add up. Most of all, I hope you will realize that the journey was the becoming, not the arriving. I hope you’ll give yourself the chance to enjoy the journey while you’re still on it.
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18 days ago
Last year, I recorded the first season of my podcast, with eight episodes for you to listen to when you find yourself in need some encouragement, mindfulness, or hope. If you happened to miss one, they are as follows: ✧ 7 Ways You’re Upper-Limiting Your Own Life ✧ Self-Confidence Is Not Found, It’s Built ✧ Let The Heart Tell You What, And The Mind Tell You How ✧ 7 Questions To Ask Yourself When You Don’t Know What You Want ✧ Listen To This Every Day If You Want To Change Your Life ✧ When Your Heart Is Breaking And It Feels Like It Will Never Heal, Listen To This ✧ The Things You Struggle With Most Are The Ones You Are Here To Master ✧ What You Are Asking Life To Give You Is What You Are Asking Life To Give It This year, I’m looking forward to recording the next season and I’d like to do it Q&A style. Ask me anything in the comments about life, love, writing, relationships, motivation… whatever is on your mind and heart. If you see another question that you’d also love to hear answered, give it a like and I will prioritize those ones first. Thank you all so much for being here. I love and appreciate you all, always. 🤍
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25 days ago
POV: you followed your dreams.
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28 days ago
I hope that when good things are trying to find you, you let them. I hope that you leave room for things to turn out better than you had planned. I hope that you do not deny yourself happiness because you know how human you are, because you are most familiar with your rough edges, your mistakes, your past. I hope that when the sun is finally shining on you, you let yourself feel its warmth. I hope you don’t think your way out of every beautiful thing that is trying to reach you. I hope you don’t look back one day and realize that you were always the biggest thing standing in your own way. I hope that you learn how to bring yourself home. I hope you learn to differentiate comforting yourself with coddling; I hope you stop negotiating your standards down to your familiarities, I hope you stop talking yourself out of the person you actually want to be. I hope that you will realize how often things meet you at your expectation of them. How presence is everything, but you also have a choice in what moment you meet. How the way you set your gaze is often how you find the view. That you can decide, in any second of that infinite now, to look for the silver linings, the glimmers, the doorways that are cracked open, inviting you to see the possibility, the potential, the goodness that was always right there, waiting for you to see. Most of all, I hope you will understand that you become the person you condition yourself to be. You are a work of your own making, a nurturing that does not only happen by chance, but also, by choice. I hope you will start to see how all those tiny revolutions add up to something greater than their parts. I hope you will begin to realize the power you’ve always had deep inside. I hope you will come to discover that the life you’ve always wanted has always just been waiting for you to start walking toward it, one step at a time.
49.7k 340
30 days ago
Rumi told us that the wound is the place where the light can enter. Khalil Gibran told us that out of suffering emerges the strongest souls, that the most massive characters are seared with scars. Marcus Aurelius told us that the impediment to action advances action, that what stands in the way becomes the way. Napoleon Hill told us that every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross told us that the most beautiful people we have known are those “who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.” That “beautiful people do not just happen.” When Joseph Campbell outlined the hero’s journey for us, the premise was that at the moment of the deepest and most unmoving difficulty, the protagonist recognized that it was they who must change. That which seemed to derail the path was the pinnacle moment at which the true path was actually revealed. In each case, the epiphany is that the presence of the challenge is the initiator. If we are lucky, our lives will continue to grow as we are presented with new paths, and various obstacles among them. To heal is not to arrive at a place where we are absolved of that difficulty, but where we no longer interpret the presence of it as our finality, our ending. Rather, we come to see it is as yet another beginning in support of the continual unfolding of all we will one day know ourselves to be. In a world where most of us die before we are dead, where most of us hyper-fixate on what we cannot control and leave to ruins everything that we can, where most of us fear our humanness and our vulnerability — I hope you find the courage to try. I hope you will come to see that just maybe, beneath the journey you fear to take is the life you had been waiting for, all along.
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1 month ago
Words from ‘101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think’ 📖 Letting go is not an event, it is a practice. We learn how to do it with the small stuff, so when the big stuff comes, we are ready. Letting go is not actually a matter of releasing, or pushing away. It is a process of opening our hands and staying still and allowing things to show us their true nature. When we are no longer painting our love and hope and idealizations upon those things, we get to see what they actually are. From there, we get to choose. The things we are most attached to — the things we most anxiously hold onto — are often the ones we sense, at some level, cannot be sustained on their own. That without our conscious participation, and filtering, and warming of them, they would not remain. When you finally have the courage to stand in the quiet for a while, a new life often arrives to meet you at the doorway. You see things you hadn’t before. You imagine things you didn’t before. You try for things you wouldn’t before. In that surrendered place, you begin to find your way back to yourself. When you let go, you notice that the things that are right for you never leave you. They always return, clearer and stronger than they were before. The only thing you’re actually letting go of is the idea that you are not enough. The only thing you’re actually letting go of is the idea that life was meant to just be lukewarm. The only thing you’re actually letting go is the assumption that you could not stand on your own, even for the briefest period of time. The only thing you are letting go of is valuing how things appear behind other people’s eyes over how they feel in your own heart. The only thing you’re actually letting go of is the false assumption that in place of what has gone, new and greater things could not arrive. The only thing you’re actually letting go of is the idea that all you’d ever deserve are the things that do not reach back.
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1 month ago
You cannot miss what is meant for you. You cannot lose what is yours. Any road you take in an effort to avoid your destiny will inevitably turn into a preparation period — a growth concourse — through which you are forced to face what led you astray in the first place. In the same way that you cannot hide from what is yours to have, you can also not run from what is yours to heal, to grow from, to grow into. And those things are very often intertwined. The things that are right for us are not just the ones that make us feel something special, something rare, something otherworldly — they’re the things that make us believe in ourselves again. The things that instill a hope so far gone, we thought we had lost it forever. They are the things that make us feel like we are approaching a light at the end of the tunnel, as though all the pieces have come together, and finally make sense. The things that are meant for us make us the people we are meant to be. When we try to move away from them, we are faced with additional lessons that prepare us in a way that makes the detour seem almost an essential part of the path. Sometimes, we are simply not ready to hold all that the world is trying to offer us, and the process of cleaning out our old habits, thoughts and attachments begins to open a space for us to finally receive. And receive we will, because what is ours never leaves us. It is connected to us a through a golden, invisible thread, one that pulls us and inspires us and calls our attention back to it, again and again. It is with us always. Because what is meant for us is a part of us. Part of our calling, our life, our reason for being here. Part of the mystical, untouchable, unfathomable unknown upon which we will one day reflect back and say — of course, I knew all along.
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1 month ago