This morning, my friend Adam from
@fixyourpicker hit me with an absolutely fantastic email talking about the tendencies of the different attachment styles in conflict.
Granted, this isn’t universal! You may be an anxious heart who handles conflict like a pro and always shoots for a win-win between partners. You could also be an avoidant who takes losses like nobody’s business… or a secure who struggles with argument.
People are complex!
But it does seem to be the tendency of anxious hearts to say “I don’t want to argue! I’ll just do it their way so that everything goes smoothly.”
The healthiest conflict resolution is when both parties want a win for the other. And be careful, fellow anxious attachers… we often think we know what’s best for our partners. Resist the urge to manage their happiness and REALLY LISTEN to what they want.
Learning the art of listening and compromise… standing up for what we really want but ALSO being able to give our partners a bit of what THEY want (even if it scares us a bit) is where secure, healthy resolution lives. ❤️
A skilled couples counselor can help you get there with a partner. Also, one of my favorite books… “Difficult Conversations” by Douglas Stone. 💗
(You can find this on my linktree at Linktr.ee/anxiousheartsguide for this and more book recommendations!)
#anxiousattachment #secureattachment #conflictresolution #loveyourself #loveyourpartner #selfhealing #selfhealers #selfhelp #selfhelpbooks @fixyourpicker #coaching #relationshipgoals