1 year ago
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Hard stuff, friends. This is one of the most common complaints I hear. Partner A wants Partner B to open up more, communicate, share their feelings, express themselves, etc. Partner B won’t no matter how much Partner A asks for it, begs for it, demands it, gets frustrated about it, cries about it, and so forth. What I’d like to offer here is that Partner B is most likely not trying to make your life miserable or getting a kick out of frustrating the heck out of you. What’s more likely is that their quiet, closed off, shut down way of being is a form of protection. Might we get curious here? What are their origin stories around sharing themselves and expressing their feelings? Did they have a family system that invited it? That kept it safe? Did they have a parent who used things they shared against them? What messages did they receive (explicit or implicit) about talking about their feelings? Gosh, there is so much to explore and tune into. Yes, it requires them to participate in this exploration, but I can almost guarantee that this curiosity and desire to understand what the block is will get you further than pushing an agenda (even when the agenda is a great one). Have you considered this if you’re Partner A? And if you’re Partner B might you start to think about this for yourself? What are you afraid of having happen if you open up? What associations are there? Of course, there’s a limit. Even when you become curious and take a new approach you might be met with resistance. This isn’t a suggestion to keep trying…forever…but rather, to see your partner through a new lens and see if it opens something up. — Tag someone who would benefit from reading this and share @mindfulmft with them. Happy Monday, friends. #mindfulmft